I have to get used to this. Friends leaving, me leaving, things coming to an end and then I'm alone out there again. 

I never really found out what people meant when they they say I wasn't putting my heart into things. I don't get it because I still can't quite figure out my emotions. There are a thousand reasons I can give if it were true. One of them, perhaps the most essential one, would be because everything here feels temporary. Maybe.

I am scared. Scared, because I've been in bliss these past eight months. Singapore always holds a soft spot for me. It's where I can be smothered with affection, spoiled, so utterly spoiled that I forget I used to be so in need of bravado to move on. People here... they destroy my walls and make me soft. 

What am I gonna do when I get to China?

They say falling in love is really just falling into habit. 

If only I can stick around long enough to make it happen.

I do stupid things. I really do.

The question is, why?

Breathe. 

It was probably a mistake, a revelation of sort - like Beijing was.

It hurts,

but then the truth always do.